Nervous but excited for this next journey
I wasn’t sure if I was going to post anything about this, but I wanted to share this life stage with you. Many of you started doing my workout videos when Sam and I were just dating. You saw Sam get down on one knee and propose…you saw us get married…you’re seeing us build POPFLEX… and now, I wanted to share this.
“Do you want kids?”
I finally have an answer.
Sam has always wanted to be a dad. Seriously, he told me on our first date! I didn’t think much of it then because I was so focused on my career. Even when we got married 10 years later and he wanted to start a family right away, my focus was 100% on growing POPFLEX, my first baby.
We finally went on our honeymoon a few years after the wedding, and that’s when we started trying. And we tried… for 5 years. Even as pregnancy test after test came back negative, we continued to work nonstop while the business grew beyond even my wildest dreams. Which brings us to the last couple of weeks.
Our IVF journey
It’s been A LOT.
Before we could even get started, the doctor found a 3cm cyst on my right ovary. So the very next day, they put me under to drain it. I knew this journey would be an emotional one, but right away I was feeling scared and upset with my body for “not working.”
And then, there were the injections.
Needles not only make me so anxious that I tried meditation to calm myself, but I also have vasovagal syncope (basically I faint at the sight of blood or needles). Sooo the meditation actually made things worse and I hyperventilated and cried.
Time for a new strategy because I had 4-5 injections PER DAY. I’m still not really sure how I survived, but I got through it by pre-icing for 30 minutes and clamping my belly fat with my hand while digging my nails into my skin while the needle went in. Crazy I know, but it made those two weeks bearable. Of course Sam and Sir George were there to support too. ❤️
To make things worse, my friends recommended acupuncture for better results. MORE NEEDLES?! Ugh. As much as I did not want to, I gave it a try. Anything to get as many healthy eggs as possible.
And that brings us to now! It’s been an INTENSE two weeks, but I was feeling much calmer when it came time for my egg retrieval. We got 11 eggs and 7 of them fertilized! I have no clue what will happen next, but I’m excited for “dad Sam” to hopefully live out his dream.
The decision to do IVF was a big one.
It made everything real. Even though we tried for 5 years, I have to be honest with you: when the pregnancy test came back negative, I was neither sad or happy. I was neutral. I know…
Sam has always wanted to be a father with all his heart. But, for some reason, I had never wanted motherhood as bad as Sam wanted fatherhood. It’s not that I didn’t like kids, its just that the burning desire wasn’t there for me. I don’t know why being a mom wasn’t calling me the same way being a fashion designer was.
I kept delaying the possibility of having a baby by pouring everything into my work. I kept saying “I’m not ready” and “next year”. He kept patiently waiting. Now looking back, my hesitance ended up delaying Sam’s dream as he wholeheartedly helped make mine come true.
The decision to do IVF as you can see was one that brought many uncomfortable things to the surface. However, I do have a weird pattern of “not being ready” when it comes to life stages. In fact, before Sam proposed, I kept telling him I didn’t want to get married until my career was on track. He ended up proposing anyway and a new chamber of love unlocked in my heart that I didn’t even know existed. It was magical, and the timing was perfect.
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Anyway, I am nervous but excited for this next journey. Sam has been so supportive through it all…and also, the women in my life really showed up over the past few weeks. I didn’t expect it at all, but their care made a world of difference. Thank you also to my doctors, nurses, and the medical team involved in getting us to the egg retrieval stage. Modern medicine and science is truly fascinating.
25 thoughts on “Nervous but excited for this next journey”
There are 25 comments posted by our users.
IVF disrupted my life in so many ways, and a big one was that the injects not only made me exhausted but also gave me nerve damage, so I stopped working out for a long time because of it. We also got 11 eggs, 7 of them fertilized (well, 8 fertilized but 7 became blasts), and I now have an amazing 2.5 year old and JUST got to the point where I was able to start working out daily again. I never felt “ready,” but when we started trying, I told my husband “I can be ready in 9 months.” And let me tell you – I was finally ready about 1 week after my son my born. I don’t think you feel ready until you’re knee deep in it! I wish you all the best.
So excited for you and Sam! Congratulations to you both!
Cassey, I applaud your willingness to be open about your IVF journey. My husband and I are doing IVF currently as well. I understand your hesitancy, I was the same way when I got married, always pushing it off. I never felt a strong draw towards babies and children. But I knew as we kept getting more and more negatives, I started to feel a sadness when I realized having children may never be a possibility. I’m wishing you all the best and sending baby dust your way, I hope your IVF story is a successful one. It’s nice to know we are going through this together!
OMG! Good luck! I am at my 3rd IVF and hate needles… but after the first one, we got one beautiful boy so it was worth it. Now we decided we want a brother/sister for him… so we’re getting there hopefully.
Good luck and you are NOT alone!! There are so many people going through this… it is very hard, but it will be worth it🤗
Sending you and Sam lots of prayers and positive energy. Keep us updated on your new journey.
Cassey I am crying, I am so happy for you and Sam to continue growing your family and working as a team all this years.
Thank you so much for sharing. It’s such an emotional rollercoaster and the best way to get through it is to have good supports around you. Wishing you all the best for this next chapter! Btw, If you ever need to do your own injections try get hold of some topical anaesthetic ointment and put it on about half an hr before the injections – it really works!
Also, please can you do some pop Pilates pregnancy and post partum classes 🙏🏽
Lots of love your way!
wishing you and sam all the best and good luck on this journey
Wishing you the absolute best on this journey. Been following your workouts since 2015 and your journey with Popflex (which truly make the best bike shorts I have ever owned!) I have endometriosis and resonate hard with feeling angry with myself and my body for not “working right.” During some of the most difficult times in my life, you’ve been a positive presence. It felt like you were there cheering me on, and now I am cheering for you and Sam!
You will have those babies Cassie. I appreciate you sharing. Trust God!
I am doing IVF in the next month, we’ve been trying for 4 years, I did all of your work out videos thinking “healthy body, healthy soul, healthy mind” even putting together the glow drink to help my adult acne, meal prep to keep a healthy weight, I’m nervous about not giving enough eggs once egg retrieval starts.
I hope and pray that everything will be successful. You gave so much I hope you will get the same. I’m glad that both of you are trying and stuck together by each other’s side through everything. I wish you the best on this journey Cassey! Sending hugs and love!
Cassey, wishing you a terrific amount of luck 🙂
You’re gonna be a fabulous mom!! I’m so excited for you in this next stage of life.
Sending so much love to you on this journey!!!!♥️♥️♥️
Overjoyed to hear the news! I have faithfully followed your workout calendars since 2015. I feel like you are my friend!
Ever since you and Sam married, I have prayed for y’all, and felt burdened to pray for future children specifically..
In 2022, when you quit making exercise videos regularly, I stepped up the prayers, hoping maybe you had stepped back to focus on yourself more (and hopefully have a baby).
Well now, I will commit to pray daily for those seven sweet little zygotes! I know you will be a fabulous mother and I look forward to hearing more about your journey!
Dear Cassey,
You have been such an inspiration to me, and am working on convincing my parents to buy your products 😝. I just want to let you know, while you are going through a tough time, is that we alll got your back, ok? Just sit back and relax. We are really proud of you, so don’t fret!
By a girl who wants to be just like you,
Athena
Praying for you and your future baby!
I wish you luck with motherhood for all you sacrificed will pay off I promise you are very strong I follow both of your accounts on YouTube for forever and more I wish you the best for both of your carriers in fashion designing and mother hood good luck 🤞♥️
OMG Cassey, u are such an amazing woman and love ur designs and what u create.
JLY
Thank you for sharing with us your journey Cassie. That takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest. Raising our 5 wonderful children and now having 14 terrific and “perfect” grandchildren—life is grand, not perfect, but there truly is no greater joy on this earth than family! We wish you well and God’s blessings!
Thank you for sharing your journey! My husband and I are in a similar position and started IVF treatments earlier this year with no success yet, but we are moving on to our next attempt this month. It’s so hard when my friends and family are having children and we have not. I understand those emotions. I am so proud of you for pushing through your fears! It’s not easy financially, or emotionally, but you are one determined individual and I am so happy that you had this successful round! I wish you luck and I cannot wait to see what you choose to share.
You are an amazingly strong woman. My partner and I have been trying for 5 years as well. We have done 4 rounds of IUI and when we moved across our country we went to our nearest fertility clinic to start the process again. They have a different way to attempt IUI and we are going for it. Here’s to a bright future to you and Sam.
Congrats!!!!! I hope you have a baby!!! 🩷🎀🌷
I’m praying for you, Cassey! One of my coworkers and his wife had their first baby via IVF, so I know a little bit about it. Their second baby happened without them even trying. I am pulling for you and Sam. Your background as a medical school student will give you a leg up on everything. I know you’ll be amazing parents.
Best of Energy for your Journey! Over 11 years I watch your blog from time to time and I am very touched that today by chance I found your new post (from yesterday!!) Wishing you the Best for everything and that happens – a universe full of magic!